life rules
# The “Common Decency” Handbook: Top 5 Rules We’re All Just Supposed to Follow![[HERO] The “Common Decency” Handbook: Top 5 Rules We’re All Just Supposed to Follow](https://cdn.marblism.com/jEGNMs-BlB4.webp)Humanity is fascinating. We’ve managed to split the atom, map the human genome, and invent a way to get a taco delivered to our front door without ever speaking to another human. Yet, for all our progress, we still haven’t quite mastered the art of existing in a shared space without accidentally, or intentionally, driving each other insane. Scientists call this the “social contract.” Most of us just call it “not being a dick.” There are certain unwritten rules that keep society from grinding into a pile of dust. These aren’t laws written in leather-bound books in a courthouse; they are the basic decencies that separate us from the animals (though, to be fair, I’ve seen golden retrievers with better etiquette than some humans).Below is the definitive, albeit unofficial, handbook on the top five rules we are all just supposed to follow.▼### 5. The Airplane Deplaning Dance**The Rule:** Wait your turn. When the plane lands, you exit row by row, starting from the front.**The Explanation:** Physics is a stubborn thing. Unless the person in Row 4 has developed the ability to turn into a liquid and seep through the floorboards, you in Row 26 are not getting off the plane any faster by standing up the second the wheels touch the tarmac. Deplaning is a sacred, chronological ritual. It is the only time in modern life where “first come, first serve” is actually enforced by a narrow aisle and the collective glares of 150 travelers. When you try to “skip” rows, you aren’t being efficient; you’re just the person everyone talks about at the baggage claim, sit down. You’re not winning a race; you’re just an asshole.### 4. The Chivalry of the Seat (and the Line)**The Rule:** If there is only one seat left and someone older, pregnant, or physically struggling is standing, you give it up. Similarly, if you have a full cart at the grocery store and the person behind you is holding a single lime, let them go first.**The Explanation:** This is about the “Efficiency of Suffering.” If you are a healthy 25-year-old, standing for a twenty-minute train ride is an inconvenience. For someone with a hip that was manufactured, it’s an Olympic event. The same logic applies to the checkout line. It’s a mathematical mercy. Letting the “one-item” person go ahead of your “feeding-a-small-army” haul takes thirty seconds of your time but saves them ten minutes of theirs. It’s a high-yield investment in karma.### 3. The Buffet/Freebie Integrity Test**The Rule:** Respect the “Take One” sign and the communal nature of a buffet. Don’t be the person who clears out the shrimp cocktail or empties the bowl of “Free Samples” into their pockets.**The Explanation:** Buffets are a test of character. When a sign says “Please Take One,” it’s an appeal to your higher self. It’s society asking, “Are you a functioning member of a community, or are you a raccoon in a trench coat?” When someone grabs a handful of samples, they are essentially saying their desire outweighs the rights of the next ten people to have any at all. It’s the tragedy of the commons, but with ranch dressing. Its like he’s not a CPA from New Jersey anymore; he’s a hunter-gatherer preparing for a brutal winter, all while making eye contact with the person behind him like, “Yeah, I saw you wanted one. Too bad. I’m the Captain now.”### 2. The Conversational “Wait Your Turn”**The Rule:** Listen to the other person until they finish their thought before you start talking. Do not just wait for a “gap” to jump in with your own story. This isn’t a podcast where people talk at each other.**The Explanation:** Most people don’t actually listen; they just “reload.” They are sitting there with their next sentence chambered and ready to fire, waiting for you to take a breath so they can tell you why their dog’s surgery was much more interesting than your trip to the Grand Canyon. This is especially true with comedians. (Trust me, I know my people.) You can see it in our eyes: the lights are on, but the brain is just running a script for a bit we want to try out. We aren’t hearing your words; we’re just measuring the silence between them.It’s like trying to merge onto a highway during rush hour. There is no opening. If you do find a half-second of silence, we will just talk over you because we’ve convinced ourselves that our anecdote about a weird Uber driver is more important than your news about a promotion. ### 1. The Public Filter**The Rule:** Watch your language and your topics of conversation when children or the elderly are within earshot.**The Explanation:** There is a time and a place for everything. The time for your detailed, profanity-laden retelling of your bachelor party in Vegas is not while standing in line at a Disney World ice cream stand. It’s about maintaining the “Sanctity of the Sphere.” Kids shouldn’t learn new four-letter words while waiting for a Dole Whip, and someone’s grandmother shouldn’t have to hear your graphic opinions on political scandals while she’s trying to enjoy a quiet lunch at the [Italian American Club](https://markriccadonna.com/event/italian-american-club). It’s called a “filter,” and it’s what keeps us from being a society of screaming baboons.**▼These rules aren’t meant to be shackles; they’re the grease that keeps the world turning. Without them, we’re just a bunch of people standing in a very long, very loud, very confused line. Let’s try to be a little better out there. Or at the very least, let the people in Row 1-5 off the plane first. It’s just common decency.